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If you wanna know more about dating someone with low self esteem complete till the end, you might get surprised!
Do you happen to know someone who lacks confidence in themselves or what they can do? Then they have low self-esteem. You might also have realized that such people may exhibit many traits that make dating them an uphill task.
The following characteristics will be enough to detect a person with low self-esteem.
- Lack of control
- Unfavorable social comparison
- Problems in asking whatever they need
- Failure to acknowledge positive feedback
- Negative self-talk
These, among other reasons, will be some of the negative traits associated with low self-esteem.
When you happen to date a person with low self-esteem, you bear the brunt of having to help them cope with the mentioned emotional and psychological heap. Consequently, the genuine emotions of love between the two of you may not get expressed or reciprocated.
Your relationship may be standing on wobbly legs and the verge of total collapse at any moment. Hence, dating someone with low self-esteem calls for exercising carefulness. Reasons for being careful may be as evident as they may be numerous. Herein, ten of such reasons stand to get a discussion in detail.
What are the ten reasons to exercise caution when dating someone with low self-esteem?
May attempt to pull you to their wretched level
You must have heard of the age-old wisdom that birds of a feather flock together. When your self-esteem soars high and that of your partner remains to dwindle, you may instinctively seek to strike a compromise. You are not at par, and co-existence may prove difficult. Therefore a leveler becomes a top priority.
Most advisedly, it would be idealistic to pull your partner from their low self-esteem to your level of high self-esteem. Consider you are high on the brim of a pit, and I am at the bottom. When we lock hands and tug, what might be a possible outcome? It would be easier for me to drag you down into the pit with me. In reality, the same happens whenever you deal with a partner who has low self-esteem. You may wake up one day to find your self-esteem lower than theirs.
Such a person will find joy in your shortcomings
Being appreciated when we keep a good performance and consoled when we fail are among the many reasons some of us find ourselves in relationships in the first place. Now, for a partner who lacks the ambition or motivation to do anything and succeed, congratulating you and consoling you may be sheer lip service.
Deep in their hearts and possibly leaking into their behavior, you may be able to realize they feel bad when you succeed and exhibit some jubilance when you fail. Simply because they cannot do anything themselves, others’ failure becomes a much-needed consolation.
Such a person will find pleasure in what they put you through
Hmm, dating someone with low self esteem! It goes against reasonable logic and maybe totally beside the point that your only sense of great self-worth comes from seeing someone suffer because of what you put them through. Your low self-esteem and the hell someone else goes through trying to mend or cope with is enough to make you appreciative enough to them. When you enjoy their suffering, you are simply cruel and not worthy of their love.
Have an eye for criticism and rejection even when false
When living together, there must be things we do that call for correction now and then. When corrected, it becomes our duty to at least comply respectively and avoid unnecessary arguments and defensiveness.
Partners with low self-esteem have defensiveness strapped and riveted around them like an imaginary armor. A simple correction may elicit many defensive accusations, which may sound weird, ambiguous, and amplified. Consequently, the relationship becomes unnecessarily tense and one-sided.
You don’t get your love’s worth
Whenever you love someone, you expect or stand right to be loved back. A person with low self-esteem may be incapable of loving you back. Why? Simply because one who cannot love him or herself cannot love you back.
I may say I love you a thousand times but fail to love you in reality. Someone dealing with low self-esteem saying that they love does not mean that they love you. Instead, they love the confidence and boost of an ego you inspire in them.
They may seek similar attention from others
Have you ever heard of the phrase a-second opinion? When you are dating a partner with low self-esteem, they may seem to pry the same approval you give them from other people. This behavior may be very detrimental to your relationship as you may feel neglected and second-guessed.
Attention seeking may lead to flirting, and when you find out, your emotions, sense of security, trust, and the entire relationship will be in jeopardy.
The jealousy may become extreme
In dating someone with low self esteem:
- Jealousy in romantic relationships may be as common as the air we breathe. Yet, there exists another level of jealousy that goes way past normalcy. Come to think of it, if I started deleting contacts of a particular gender from your phone book, hacked into your Facebook account, and blocked your ex, snooping on or sometimes stalking you to see who you interact with.
- In doing so, partners with low self-esteem may be trying to save their already diminished ego and sense of self-worth from suffering more hurt. Either way, they become oversensitive and over-reactive even to accuse you of things you haven’t done. Their jealousy even extends to the time you spend with friends and family. There may be no solution unless you get to isolate yourself from everybody else wholly.
Terrible in communicating properly
Proper, timely, and well-informed communication forms the bedrock of any personal relationships we get involved in. when at grips with a relationship that lacks the said important aspect, you realize it will be over sooner or later and in one way or another. Why? Because a person with low self-esteem may not know: what to tell you, when, or how. They may be afraid of how you may react, or their reaction might be defensive and discouraging.
On your side, you may keep important information to yourself for fear of being considered an agent of criticism.
Incessant negative energy
Have you ever had a job sack, made losses in business, lost an important client, you name it. Fast forward, you get home, but you have no one to confide in or motivate you because their own emotion and psychological baggage wears them down, and worse still, they do nothing to improve their situation.
It becomes further unnerving and selfish when they behave as if your problems don’t matter, and you should set them aside and deal expressly with theirs.
You deserve better than dating someone with low self esteem
There exists neither rule nor obligation that ties you morally, spiritually, or socially to be with a partner who has low self-esteem and patiently suffers the brunt of it. You become free to choose a partner and opt-in and out of a relationship at will. So you are not obligated to suffer at the joy of someone’s ego that needs constant but unnecessary massaging.
Dating someone with low self esteem does not essentially rule out that you cannot be in a loving and productive relationship. If you happen to have low self-esteem or your partner does, efforts and sacrifices can be made by both partners, with understanding, for the benefit and improvement of the affected partner.
On the contrary, when your partner has low self-esteem, and it gets ultimately out of control to the point of becoming unbearable, it may be advised you get out of the relationship respectfully and without damaging their self-esteem much further.
What happens when you date a man with low self-esteem?
It would be helpful if you were prepared for the frequent temper tantrums when he feels ignored. You may also have to give him a lot of attention.
Can low self-esteem ruin a relationship?
It can influence your level of satisfaction in the relationship and essentially distort your perception of your partner. The above reasons alone are enough to ruin a relationship.
How do I love a partner with low self-esteem?
You will love them by doing things that will boost their egos, such as compliments, encouragement, and appreciation. Also, avoid the negativity that might ruin their low self-esteem, more like name-calling, swearing, accusations, and insults.